Skit: "Elimitrox"
Here's another skit from my archives, although it's not that old (it's from 2003). Basically, it's my parody of those commercials for prescription drugs. What's great about those commercials is all the stuff they have to say in such a short amount of time. All those warnings about interactions and side effects conflict greatly with the positive images onscreen.
So, check out the prescription drug commercial parody entitled "Elimitrox"
Announcer: Suffering from seasonal allergies? Need relief from the congestion, sneezing, and watery eyes? Then ask your doctor about Elimitrox, the number one prescribed allergy medicine by uninformed and inexperienced doctors.
Man: I used to hate gardening because the plants would aggravate my allergies. But now that Elimitrox allows me to garden without sneezing, I can say I hate gardening because it sucks and it's hard work.
Woman: My family would stay away from me because I sneezed so much, but thanks to Elimitrox, they stay away from me not because of my sneezes but because I only bathe once every six months.
(Man and Woman look at each other and smile as Announcer begins to talk again)
Announcer: (talking quickly) Elimitrox is not for everyone. The most common side effects are dry mouth, nosebleeds, dizziness, and uncontrollable gaseous emissions. Other less occurring side effects include sudden drowsiness, tremors, vomiting, diarrhea, baldness, loss of bladder control, bad breath, reduction in size of sexual organs in both men and women, the ability to hear colors, belief that Tupac Shakur is not only alive but hiding out in rural Iceland, premature senility and death. In studies, there was an uncommonly high occurrence of side effects compared to sugar pill. Patients who have hypertension, heart or liver problems, AIDS or HIV, diabetes, acid-reflux disease, clinical depression, ADHD, size 10 feet for both males and females, a lazy eye, or the film "How High" on DVD should not take Elimitrox. Women who are pregnant, thinking about getting pregnant, or considering the possibility of getting pregnant within the next 10 years should not take Elimitrox, handle broken pills, or even touch the bottle it is contained in without three layers of latex gloves. If you are taking any other drugs, legal or otherwise, do not take Elimitrox without consulting your doctor first. On second thought, it's okay to take Elimitrox if you are smoking weed or snorting Oxycontin, but that's it. If you experience any medical problems while taking Elimitrox, contact your doctor immediately. Actually, don't worry about contacting the doctor. By the time you do, it'll already be too late.
Man: So take Elimitrox!
Woman: And eliminate your allergy symptoms today!
Announcer: A product of Crazy Ass Pharmaceuticals, kinda sorta helping people since 2010. Elimitrox patented 2003.
END SKETCH
So, check out the prescription drug commercial parody entitled "Elimitrox"
Elimitrox by Sterling Fisher
Announcer: Suffering from seasonal allergies? Need relief from the congestion, sneezing, and watery eyes? Then ask your doctor about Elimitrox, the number one prescribed allergy medicine by uninformed and inexperienced doctors.
Man: I used to hate gardening because the plants would aggravate my allergies. But now that Elimitrox allows me to garden without sneezing, I can say I hate gardening because it sucks and it's hard work.
Woman: My family would stay away from me because I sneezed so much, but thanks to Elimitrox, they stay away from me not because of my sneezes but because I only bathe once every six months.
(Man and Woman look at each other and smile as Announcer begins to talk again)
Announcer: (talking quickly) Elimitrox is not for everyone. The most common side effects are dry mouth, nosebleeds, dizziness, and uncontrollable gaseous emissions. Other less occurring side effects include sudden drowsiness, tremors, vomiting, diarrhea, baldness, loss of bladder control, bad breath, reduction in size of sexual organs in both men and women, the ability to hear colors, belief that Tupac Shakur is not only alive but hiding out in rural Iceland, premature senility and death. In studies, there was an uncommonly high occurrence of side effects compared to sugar pill. Patients who have hypertension, heart or liver problems, AIDS or HIV, diabetes, acid-reflux disease, clinical depression, ADHD, size 10 feet for both males and females, a lazy eye, or the film "How High" on DVD should not take Elimitrox. Women who are pregnant, thinking about getting pregnant, or considering the possibility of getting pregnant within the next 10 years should not take Elimitrox, handle broken pills, or even touch the bottle it is contained in without three layers of latex gloves. If you are taking any other drugs, legal or otherwise, do not take Elimitrox without consulting your doctor first. On second thought, it's okay to take Elimitrox if you are smoking weed or snorting Oxycontin, but that's it. If you experience any medical problems while taking Elimitrox, contact your doctor immediately. Actually, don't worry about contacting the doctor. By the time you do, it'll already be too late.
Man: So take Elimitrox!
Woman: And eliminate your allergy symptoms today!
Announcer: A product of Crazy Ass Pharmaceuticals, kinda sorta helping people since 2010. Elimitrox patented 2003.
END SKETCH
posted by Sterfish at 3:43 AM
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