Skit: Access Hollywood
Can you believe it? I'm actually posting two days in a row!
Anyway, here is another brand new skit. I wrote this in the same timeframe as the Axe Commercial skit, as in about three days ago. This skit is a parody of the entertainment show Access Hollywood. The targets in this sketch include 50 Cent, Marcia Cross, Randy Jackson (of American Idol) and Britney Spears (sort of). I hope you like it.
WARNING: This skit contains some rough language and potentially offensive content.
Announcer: Lights! Camera! Access!
(Billy Bush and Shaun Robinson are on the stage.)
Billy: I'm Billy Bush, the cool Bush relative!
Shaun: And I'm the gorgeous Shaun Robinson in for that she-think-she-cute Nancy O' Dell.
Billy: Today on our show, 50 Cent talks exclusively with Access Hollywood about the beef he recently resolved with The Game...
(Cut to segment from interview. 50 Cent and Interviewer are sitting in chairs.)
Interviewer: What was the reason behind the beef between you two?
50 Cent: That nigga thought he was an individual. He didn't understand that all G-Unit members have to hate what I hate, love what I love, and fuck what I fuck. The Game thought he could have a mind of his own.
Interviewer: And he can't?
50 Cent: Hell no! I'm the only person in G-Unit allowed to think for himself. If it wasn't for me, Lloyd Banks would still be outside shaking keys in the rain!
(Cut back to Billy and Shaun)
Shaun: And in another Access Hollywood exclusive, American Idol judge Randy Jackson gives his take on the season thus far...
(Cut to Randy Jackson standing at some Hollywood event with a microphone in his face)
Randy: Yeah, man, it's tight, ya know. It's aiight, kind of pitchy but a little over the top. Dawg, man, dude, girl, it's da bomb, yo! Not that good, happening, it's back yo! Near and dear to my heart, ya know, YEAHHHHH! Cool, phat, slick, rad, word to ya mama, a bag of chips with some hot sauce! Totally off the heezy chain fa sheezy sleazy feezy double deezy fo' shizzle my...
(Cut back to Billy and Shaun)
Billy: And Marcia Cross puts those gay rumors to rest only on Access Hollywood...
(Cut to Marcia sitting in a chair)
Marcia: Of course I'm not gay. And even if I was, I wouldn't be attracted to any of the other women on my show. Rosie O' Donnell would be more my type. I like 'em fat and manly...
(Cut back to Billy and Shaun)
Shaun: Finally, our new corresponded Tim Vincent visits Britney "Mrs. Federline" Spears at home.
(Cut to Tim and Britney standing in Britney's bedroom)
(Tim has an English accent)
Tim: What do you think about how your marriage is portrayed in the tabloids?
Britney: (laughs)
Tim: (angrily) What's so god damn funny?
Britney: (laughing) Your...accent!
Tim: (angrily) So you think British accents are funny, do you? You can talk you fucking bitch!
(Cut back to Billy and Shaun)
Billy: All of this and more...
Shaun: Only on Access Hollywood!
(END SKIT)
Anyway, here is another brand new skit. I wrote this in the same timeframe as the Axe Commercial skit, as in about three days ago. This skit is a parody of the entertainment show Access Hollywood. The targets in this sketch include 50 Cent, Marcia Cross, Randy Jackson (of American Idol) and Britney Spears (sort of). I hope you like it.
WARNING: This skit contains some rough language and potentially offensive content.
Access Hollywood Skit
Copyright 2005 Sterling Fisher
Announcer: Lights! Camera! Access!
(Billy Bush and Shaun Robinson are on the stage.)
Billy: I'm Billy Bush, the cool Bush relative!
Shaun: And I'm the gorgeous Shaun Robinson in for that she-think-she-cute Nancy O' Dell.
Billy: Today on our show, 50 Cent talks exclusively with Access Hollywood about the beef he recently resolved with The Game...
(Cut to segment from interview. 50 Cent and Interviewer are sitting in chairs.)
Interviewer: What was the reason behind the beef between you two?
50 Cent: That nigga thought he was an individual. He didn't understand that all G-Unit members have to hate what I hate, love what I love, and fuck what I fuck. The Game thought he could have a mind of his own.
Interviewer: And he can't?
50 Cent: Hell no! I'm the only person in G-Unit allowed to think for himself. If it wasn't for me, Lloyd Banks would still be outside shaking keys in the rain!
(Cut back to Billy and Shaun)
Shaun: And in another Access Hollywood exclusive, American Idol judge Randy Jackson gives his take on the season thus far...
(Cut to Randy Jackson standing at some Hollywood event with a microphone in his face)
Randy: Yeah, man, it's tight, ya know. It's aiight, kind of pitchy but a little over the top. Dawg, man, dude, girl, it's da bomb, yo! Not that good, happening, it's back yo! Near and dear to my heart, ya know, YEAHHHHH! Cool, phat, slick, rad, word to ya mama, a bag of chips with some hot sauce! Totally off the heezy chain fa sheezy sleazy feezy double deezy fo' shizzle my...
(Cut back to Billy and Shaun)
Billy: And Marcia Cross puts those gay rumors to rest only on Access Hollywood...
(Cut to Marcia sitting in a chair)
Marcia: Of course I'm not gay. And even if I was, I wouldn't be attracted to any of the other women on my show. Rosie O' Donnell would be more my type. I like 'em fat and manly...
(Cut back to Billy and Shaun)
Shaun: Finally, our new corresponded Tim Vincent visits Britney "Mrs. Federline" Spears at home.
(Cut to Tim and Britney standing in Britney's bedroom)
(Tim has an English accent)
Tim: What do you think about how your marriage is portrayed in the tabloids?
Britney: (laughs)
Tim: (angrily) What's so god damn funny?
Britney: (laughing) Your...accent!
Tim: (angrily) So you think British accents are funny, do you? You can talk you fucking bitch!
(Cut back to Billy and Shaun)
Billy: All of this and more...
Shaun: Only on Access Hollywood!
(END SKIT)
posted by Sterfish at 2:13 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home